The Breaking Point

My sleeping problems reached a point where waking up was truly hell on earth. Imagine being physically exhausted, finally being able to sleep after hours of tossing and turning, and then having someone wake you up ten minutes into that blissful sleep, telling you that it is time to start your day. That was my every night, every day experience. I would just lay in the bed and cry. My mom would lay there and cry with me. We had no idea what to do. I was literally living in a nightmare. 


On top of all of this, I was still in middle school. I was experiencing that horrid period in life where everyone is jockeying to establish themselves in the best social positions possible. This point in a student's life can make or break their high school experience. And here I was, that weird kid that came in late every day. I relished the thought of having everyone stare at me as I walked into the middle of a class. I hated being judged for something I didn't even understand. Sometimes I would hide in the bathroom at school and just wait until everyone was changing classes so I could slip in unnoticed. All I wanted to be was invisible. 


At our collective wits end, my mom and I went to the pediatrician begging for answers. I was prescribed Ambien at the age of 13. The first time I took that pill, I was sitting on our kitchen counter. Not twenty minutes after I had swallowed that chemical concoction, the kitchen floor began spinning and pitching. I thought I would fall. Luckily my mother was there and she walked me to my room so I wouldn't hurt myself. However, I decided that it would be a grand idea to see if I could walk in a straight line. I found the sensation to be hilarious. Admittedly, I did fall asleep easily once the novelty of the drug wore off. The next morning, however, was an entirely different story. I was an emotional wreck. While I had cried over my lack of sleep before, this was entirely different. I was in a hysterical state, just sobbing. Nothing made sense and I was emotionally disturbed by Ambien, apparently. 


Once we had determined that Ambien was clearly not the answer to my problems, my pediatrician made the life changing decision to refer me to our local sleep clinic.